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THERE IS A HIDDEN EPIDEMIC in our society, keeping people in isolation, and it's not what you think. People with Complex PTSD are being systematically punished for seeking help, writes survivors advocate and campaigner, KARYN PEMBERTON.

And this is why safe spaces, such as those provided by Recovery Code X, are so important.

3rd February 2025

According to the charity PTSD UK - 1 in 10 people in the UK are expected to experience PTSD or CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) at some point in their lives. In the UK that's around 6,665,000 people. Four in 100 have PTSD at any given time. This doesn't include CPTSD but still equates to a massive 2,612,000 people. Yet, doctors don't know what CPTSD is. The medical profession don't know what it is, society in general doesn't know.

In many cases even the people who are experiencing it themselves don't know what it is, so they can not get the right support. Often misdiagnosed as BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), or someone who cannot control their emotions, this reinforces the belief that we are fundamentally broken, when actually what we are experiencing are normal reactions to abnormal circumstances. The reality is that thousands, if not millions of people are suffering in silence. Trapped in isolation, misunderstood and shoved to the side by society, 'professionals' and the very people who are supposed to care about them.

My CPTSD Story: ‘Drinking was the only thing keeping me alive’

I was one of these people, after being diagnosed informally by a charity worker in 2015. I had just been through a very traumatic court case and was living alone in an unsafe housing situation. After another gruelling 40 minute telephone appointment to 'assess' my symptoms, only to be told there was a 6 month waiting list, I was basically just left on my own to deal with the horrors of severe anxiety and nightmares, whilst trapped in a living situation and abusive relationship that I could not see a way out of, not least because I was so unwell.

I had already been let down by the so-called justice system, and I just carried on believing that I wasn't worthy of support, and it was my own fault I was in this situation, which further spiralled me deep into depression, anxiety, self-abuse and self-destruct, dissociation and wanting to end it all. It was daily hell for years.

The only thing that kept me going was alcohol at that point. And a caring doctor (or so it seemed) that knew what I had been through and how it was affecting me, to a point, although there wasn't that much she could do. I was signed off work, went onto long term sick, prescribed anti-depressants and referred to talking therapies, and after another of those awful intrusive robotic assessments over the phone I was told I wasn't eligible for help unless I stopped drinking. It was then I gave up on even trying to get any help. I had lost all faith and trust in anyone and anything. Alcohol was the only thing keeping me going. If I wasn't drinking, I was in unbearable pain, and constant anxiety.

'Even in my darkest, most hopeless times, part of me knew this wasn't it for me. I knew this wasn't my fate. And I still wanted a better life.'

So, I carried on, living in isolation, and drinking to just be able to barely function and exist, whilst trying not to give up on a tiny bit of hope that maybe somehow my life would change, and I could get out of where I was. Even in my darkest, most hopeless times, part of me knew this wasn't it for me. I knew this wasn't my fate. And I still wanted a better life. Part of me believed it was still possible, which kept me from giving up completely, even though this belief was buried deep under all the pain, and I couldn't feel it most of the time, I didn't want to give up, not deep down. Although there were many times when I couldn't see another way and it felt like I couldn't take it anymore, somehow, I kept on going. My inner strength never left me. And now I have an unbreakable resilience and a sense of knowing that whatever life throws at me, I know I'll be ok. Even when I doubt that I remember what I've already survived.

A Broken Society

THERE IS A HIDDEN EPIDEMIC in our society, keeping people in isolation. It's a vicious circle of trying to get support, being dismissed and re-traumatised, then going further into isolation and feeling like there is something wrong with you and that you are broken beyond repair, or don't deserve support.

You may get put on sick benefit and are left alone to just be ill, to struggle to get decent and safe housing, face discrimination at every corner, with no support to actually help you get back into work, or improve your life. You feel trapped in the system, a system that doesn't help you, it actually feels like it punishes you for trying to get better.

The system is a disgrace and a let-down. THAT is what is broken. Not us!

You could say that the systems are actually one of the biggest causes of CPTSD. The very systems that are supposed to help us, actually CAUSE trauma. To be able to be heard by a doctor and not be dismissed or told 'it's just anxiety' is almost unheard of. The level of gaslighting that goes on in the doctors office is next level, and traumatising on it's own, never mind anything else. What kind of world are we living in when our lives and well-being lie in the hands of 'decision makers' that don't even know what they are dealing with? How can they decide how we get treated? How are we supposed to trust anyone?

Mental health profession lacks empathy and invalidates people with CPTSD

There is little humanity in the mental health profession. Depersonalising people is a common occurrence. Lack of empathy. No time to care. No time to listen. No time to make people feel validated or reassure them that how they feel is real and they deserve to feel better or that they actually can!

Invalidated. Alone. Scared. Misunderstood. Powerless. Wishing you were 'normal'. Believing no-one cares. And not knowing where to turn. The world and other people don't feel safe. The impact of all this is more trauma. Layer upon layer of trauma, that gets buried under repeated rejection from a society that doesn't seem to care.

Just because you can't see something, or don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't real. CPTSD is very, very real.

We wouldn't dismiss someone with a broken leg or any other 'visible' dis-ease. We don't blame them for having the accident that caused it so why should we be blamed for something that we went through that wasn't our fault? Our needs weren't met. We experienced abuse. Repeatedly. On its own that isn't 'complex'. The impact it has on us certainly is, but so what? Does that mean we should be denied help? That's why we need change.

'We need a holistic approach to 'treatment' as the current way certainly isn't working.'

We are told to take medications that we are prescribed and be compliant and get on with it. And if we choose not to do that, then we are told we are being 'difficult' and we are shoved away with the attitude of 'what else do you want then?' I'll tell you what we want – we want to be listened to. To be accepted for how we feel. Not judged. Doesn't everyone want that? Doesn't everyone deserve that? To be treated like a 'normal' valuable human being that is experiencing normal reactions to abnormal circumstances. To be treated like the individual that we are. To be given choices about our treatment because not everything works for everyone.

We are even made to believe that our bodies aren't connected. That one thing doesn't affect another. Like we are separate, walking around in one container? How can that be? Nothing works in isolation, nothing works, IN ISOLATION!! That's exactly it. We don't work in isolation, on any level.

One lady who had experienced abuse in her childhood was told by a doctor that the unresolved trauma from what had happened had nothing to do with the physical symptoms she was experiencing now. This could not be further from the truth!

No wonder we are so disconnected from ourselves. If that is the message we are being given. The ignorant, incorrect information that the body is not affected by trauma.

'They don't want us to be connected to the truth of who we actually are. That's the way to keep us controlled and relying on a system that tells us we are disconnected.'

Fighting For Change

As survivors, we have a lot to say. We are angry. We have been oppressed and silenced, left in the shadows for too long. It is time we were properly heard, properly seen. Only then can we truly start to heal, and not just individually, but collectively as a whole. When we know we aren't alone, and are finally understood, the longing we have had all our lives, it can be the difference between life and death. We've felt like we don't fit in. But why would we want to fit in to a world that can't see us anyway? I certainly don't want to. I'd rather be on the outside looking in. I'd rather be the one to make a change. Make a difference.

With the right support, CPTSD symptoms can be overcome, but the way society currently deals with mental health simply HAS to change. Survivors of trauma, that have overcome the worst and are out the other side have so much strength, wisdom and compassion to offer others, but are held back by the system and a society built with this stigma around mental health conditions and the people that experience them, and this is truly a tragedy.

Hope Is Everything

When we finally get that support that we believed would never come, we see that there is hope. There is healing, it IS possible. We DO deserve it. Our lives are possible. We are warriors. We deserve it all. Hope is everything. Without hope there is nothing.

We need spaces that allow all this. Spaces like Recovery Code X that are consistent, safe and reliable, in a world that is anything but. A space where survivors can help others that are in the depths of it all, and help them come out and start to live again. Because the strength and resilience that comes out of all this is immense. We all share that innate strength and determination to fight, fight for ourselves, for each other, because in this world, no one else will.

We've been let down so many times, we have no choice but to fiercely rely on ourselves. We fight for a better life, that we all deserve to have, fight for our voices to be heard and for better access to support, fight for education where it is needed so that one day maybe the systems that are supposed to help and support us, actually can.

© Copyright Karyn Pemberton. February 2025 All Rights Reserved.

If you wish to use or reproduce any part of this blog contact Karyn directly by email: karynjane95@gmail.com

By Karyn Pemberton

Karyn is passionate about advocating for survivors of trauma and abuse.

She is qualified in naturopathic nutrition and believes in a holistic and spiritual approach to healing.

Photo left: Karyn Pemberton